Koramangala Survival Guide

Koramangala, Bengaluru, India is the birthplace for multi-billion dollar companies like Flipkart & BigBasket.

It’s infrastructure has totally collapsed.

$Billion firms. ₹2 infra

Every block in Koramangala is dug up for work that never finishes, by the local municipal bodies like BBMP & BWSSB.

Take a look at Koramangala Construction LIVE Map

So here’s a survival guide if you still live in this once green & traffic-free neighbourhood.

🏡 Prepare your home

  • Get power backup for the inevitable power cuts in the silicon valley of India
  • Keep your power bank charged when your inverter runs out of battery
  • Fortify your windows with mosquito mesh
  • If you’re on the ground floor (really? what were you even thinking) put mortein coils outside
  • Have a backup internet provider for when your internet provider’s wire is cut during the constant road diggings #Jcb

🚶‍♂️ When walking (trekking)

  • Wear trekking shoes when you venture out into the wilderness
  • Keep looking down to avoid falling into the freshly dug up sidewalk. Remember, it’s not necessary that if the sidewalk was there y’day, it’ll still be there.
    Koramangala, like its startups, has a fail-fast approach.
  • Keep looking up as well to avoid any dangling electric wires
  • Also keep looking behind you for bikes on the sidewalk
  • Oh & look out on the sides for pools of water on the road that vehicles passing by might splash on to you. But the cars aren’t driving past 10kmph anyways so I guess you’ll be fine.

🚗 When booking a cab or driving

  • Start booking on all apps before you get into the shower, before finally giving up & working from home again
  • If the driver calls, quickly say location correct-aa then disconnect before giving the driver a chance to ask your drop location. Then keep looking n praying at the app to see if he cancels & cold heartedly rejects you, just like your ex did.
  • If you still managed to get in the cab, congratulations! You’re finally moving closer to your destination! Oh what’s that? You have to pickup Ankit now?! You’re now moving in the opposite direction, awesome. Fuck sanity.
    Avoid pool, always.
  • Always carry your earphones, so you can finish 2-3 playlists at sony signal, after all for how many years are you gonna curse the Elevated Corridor construction, it’s a part of your commute life now. Just standing tall & wide there like some old Mughal ruin.
  • Keep an eye on the road, yeah even if you’re not the one who’s driving, for potholes. Sit leaning forward & save your spine from sudden jerks by adjusting in real time.

This is not just an issue of Koramangala, but most of Bengaluru. Young people come here for jobs unaware of the electricity, water, traffic & infra issues. 

So how can you fix this?
Send migrants back to their hometown? No, the slow development will still stay.
Move out of Koramangala? No this is the state of infra everywhere here.

Then how?
Vote wisely.

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